Escape: to make memories, and to return to them
My brother Ashish and his partner Claire share a relationship that I dare say pals of their envy. There’s a lightness to them, an ease, a sense of fun and love that’s as palpable today as it was when they first got together several years ago. So I asked Ashish some time back out of curiosity if there’s something specific they do to keep the zest in their love nest, so to speak. And he said this:
"Heading somewhere fresh or different for a weekend away together, even if it’s just one night, when we feel the need. This could be a cute Airbnb in Phillip Island, going camping somewhere strange, heading to Tassie for a weekend or just doing something out of the ordinary. This way it’s only us two with no distractions in a place that we don’t know well or at all. These weekends can be filled with food, wine, laughs, and of course lots of adventuring and discovering... which leads to more food, wine, and laughs.”
Oooh yes. I loved his answer. I’m all in favour of Ashish and Claire’s choice to prioritise time away together, once in a while. With overflowing schedules and/or financial pressures, such mini-trips are not always easy to make happen. But sometimes, all it takes is a fresh environment, a change of scenery, to re-energize a relationship.
Sometimes all that’s needed is a ripper second-hand book shop to stumble upon and delight over… or a hilarious middle-aged caravanning couple to find yourself camped next to and sharing a beer with down in the Otways… or a country town café with TERRIBLE coffee to have a chuckle over together…
These are the discoveries of a new place that can pull two people out of their ordinary, work-centric day to day lives. They can reignite a romance that may have otherwise taken a backseat, or spark refreshing conversations between a pair that are unlikely to have surfaced at home.
It is no wonder, then, that when my big-wedding couples complete the questionnaire I send them – the crucial document that helps me prepare their personalised wedding ceremony – nine times out of ten they answer that their favourite memory from their relationship thus far is from a particular holiday or weekend away together.
Something I don’t tell those big-wedding couples but that I find myself imagining when reading these responses, is how special and radical it would be if that couple decided to say “stuff it” to their original big-wedding plans, cancel the whole thing out of intention (rather than a pandemic), and elope where that favourite memory took place instead.
Please don’t get me wrong – I love a full-scale, all the bells and whistles, love-fest of a wedding. And having a crowd is how most people truly prefer to celebrate.
But you can bet I (we) say an equally emphatic “yes” if a couple asks us to instead join them on a trip, much like they took those six months or three years or a decade ago for one unexpectedly memorable weekend together. You can bet we help them tie the knot on a cliff edge or pretty beach or obscure bushland or random alleyway, wherever they originally shared that incredibly good time. It would be our pleasure to marry and capture them somewhere - not because the venue’s food and drinks package was the best bang for buck in the local area, or because Stacey from high school got married there last year and her photos really are the prettiest – but because the place has an existing sentimental meaning for those two people and for their unique relationship. Such is the flexibility and freedom of eloping.
Whether it’s just with two witnesses or a very small handful of guests, I couldn’t imagine a more magical, intimate ceremony than one held in the very part of Victoria (or interstate!) where the romance between two lovers was at its ripest. We added our ‘Anywhere’ elopement package with this very thought in mind. And maybe it’s because I’m a bit spiritual or superstitious or whatever you want to call it, but I tend to think getting hitched in such a special spot would grant two people a dose of good luck for their marriage to follow.
Words by Kahani Motiani - resident celebrant for all of Elsewhere’s elopements.